Letter: Depression And Honesty

Dear Readers;

I am going to be frank; my seasonal depression is rearing its ugly head again, and its been kind of tough to even get out of bed the last few days. It is like a constant ache inside my heart, a sense of dragging through life and not really getting enjoyment out of much of anything. But despite depression's less than welcome presence each time around this year, the mission I have to spread light, beauty and gratitude into the world around me pushes me to fight and continue in my mission. I am still grateful for so much, and that gratitude gives me hope, which in turn, will keep me strong until the darkness passes.

When I am in this state of mind, my husband has a rule. If he hears me unable to follow Thumpers golden rule, (if you don't know what this is, watch the Disney version of Bambi) he makes me pause and come up with 5 positive things for the day. I do the same for him when he get caught up in things. The longer the negativity goes on, the longer that list has to be each day. My Chaz started doing this last year, and I have to tell you honestly, that it helps. It wont take the darkness away, but it cuts its strength easily in half, which many days can be the difference between getting out of bed or not. And so today, I have challenged myself to make a list of 15 things I am grateful for TODAY. Yesterdays list was yesterdays list; tomorrow's list has not happened yet. So I challenge myself, and anyone who follows my lead when sadness bares its burden, to be honest with yourself about what is going on with you, to love yourself despite the negative thoughts, and to combat depression harder the longer it sticks around.

For each day that you have to put up with depression trying to drag you down, add a few more things onto your daily list of gratitude. Keep track of your symptoms each day, and never give up on yourself.  I believe in each of you, whether you are battling a bad day, or a bad month. You are beautiful, you are loved and you are appreciated. And don't you  forget it!

I am grateful for the rest last night

Grateful for the mornings light

Grateful for my silly pups

Who lick my face till I get up

I'm Grateful for my readers too

For keeping me focused when I'm blue

Grateful for my family

Grateful for the air and trees

Grateful for the help I have

All around me when I'm sad

Grateful for my friends and crew

For the laughter they know how to cue

For this blog to remind me

Just how beautiful life can be

For the talents I have to share

For those around me that love and care

For The lady who made me smile

And made me feel a bit worth while

I have so much to be grateful for

I have these listed and so many more.

But for today, this last thought and phrase;

Tomorrow will be a much better day. 

If depression lingers, and stays the night

I will have more ammo tomorrow to  fight

It cannot prevail when I choose to see light

And I can see life's good, and I will win this fight. 

Artfully Yours,

Jetta Marie