Completion Of Brunner Bear
Photography: Jetta Marie
Gratitude Of The Day: The long awaited completion of my first courage bear. I present to you all, the "Brunner Bear."
Dear readers;
It has been a long 3 weeks, but I have learned and accomplished so much with this bear. He still needs eyes and his attire, but he is done as far as his creation. I posted during the last update that one of the biggest things I learned during the process of bringing this bear to life was that I did not need to be perfect. This bear fits that statement well; he is by no means perfect. He has little places where the stitching needs to be reinforces; he has a few spots where I could have stuffed him a bit more; but he is so beautiful to me, and it is humbling to realize what this little imperfect bear is going to do. To some little child who is struggling beyond words, this bear will be as perfect as any bear could be. He will be by the side of the child, being dragged through the dirt of life right along with them, and holding thier hands and loving them the whole way.
Brunner bear is not only my first bear, he is a symbol of courage in so many ways. Though he was born just today, he holds in him so much love and life. He was a struggle to make, and there were a lot of moments where I wanted to give up but I would look at that headless bear and realized that what I am undertaking is too important for me to give up. I realized in making him, that this obsession with perfection I have is holding me back from more than just the completion of this bear. I cannot be afraid of life because I make mistakes; we all make mistakes, some of us are just better at hiding them than others. And I realized that after all these years, that I do not need to be afraid of success. I often take on projects and never complete them because they are "not good enough", but as I am beginning to complete the great things I set out to do I am finding that success is quite a good thing. I have so much good to put into this world, and so many ideas and ways to help others but I realize that I have to allow myself to be human and at times be vulnerable in order to actually put those ideas into motion.
This bear is also a symbol and tribute to my Chaz and his side of my family. This bear is a courage bear, and there is no group of people I know with more courage than my husband and his siblings. This bear represents the spirit of Bren, Chaz's oldest brother. Bren passed away in 2004,long before I ever met Chaz. But the way I have heard my husband and his family talk about him, the more respect I gained with each story of the person that he was and the mark that he made in the world.
Bren was, like me a photographer and artist. He had a passion for the world and a heart of gold just like my Chaz. He loved people and they loved him back. He was always ready and willing to help if someone needed him. I want that love and selflessness that he had in his life to live on with every Brunner bear I make. Part of the unique nature of what I am doing with this project is that every bear I make will have a story behind it, and I hope that the love I put into them and the story they will represent will give them extra courage to give to the child they are given to.
What I am doing may seem a bit dramatic and maybe even a bit crazy, but I know how much differacne a simple stuffed animal can make. Though my circumstances were vastly different than the mission of these bears, I too this day have kept my little courage critter. She is a little gray cat named Kassy and I have had her for 20 years. She was given to me by my grandmother as a birthday gift when I was 6 years old and something about her gave me courage. Most of you know, and all of you will now, that I have bipolar disorder. I was very young when the mood swings began and there were so many days when I was a kid that Kassy was the only one that I could cry on. My parents did not know why I acted the way I did and they did the best they could to try and help me, but bipolar disorder was all but unknown back then. When my moods were out of control and no body wanted to be around me, that cat dried my tears as I wondered what was wrong with me. She was with me through depressions and manics, she was there when I developed Chronic Mono and my immune system went to poop, she was there when I developed a severe liver infection; she was there through it all. She lives in a memory hat box now but every now and then I pull her out and think about the things we made it through. Somehow when I could not take it anymore that cat gave me courage during times where I did not think I could go on anymore. She dried more tears than I can ever count, And these bears get to do the same thing.
I am so grateful to each and every one of those who are helping me to make a difference with this project, and to all those who support us in our efforts. I know without a shadow of a doubt that these bears are going to change the lives of those they protect and comfort. I know that what we are doing matters.we are all given talents for a reason, and this is the mission of one of mine. Keep following along as the courage bear project continues, and if you have a bear idea please feel free to either email me the story and idea, or to make a courage bear yourself and send it to me to add to the family. When I get about 20 bears or critters, I will take them to the Children Justice Center. If I ever get time, I will make another blog for the bears so that the kids can read little short stories about their bears. That is a neat little idea...hmmmm.....;)
Sincercely and Artfully Yours,
Jetta Marie
