Letter: Chaz And Elder Duke's Courage

Photography: Jetta Marie

Gratitude Of The Day: Never giving up, even when mistakes are made. I can say this of both my Chaz, and Elder Duke, and I am so grateful for their courage in picking themselves up when things got rough. 

Dear Readers;

We have had the honor during the last year of having Elder Devin Duke work with my Chaz on understanding the gospel of the LDS people. Elder Duke was transferred last night, and will no longer be working with us, but I am so grateful for the experiences and friendship that came from him working with my husband, both times. There is actually quite a remarkable story that we share with this Elder, that I am sure I can never really forget. 

Elder Duke came to visit my husband earlier this year and the lessons went very well. Chaz began to study and explore the questions he has had for so many years regarding the LDS faith and the challenges offered by the Elder were accepted and attempted. As fate would have it, Elder duke was transferred, unknown to my husband, and due to the hectic nature of the transfer Elder Duke missed an appointment with Chaz. There  were no goodbyes or acknowledgments of the transfer to Chaz. He found out because he called after waiting about an hour to get an explanation of why nobody came that night. Chaz then expressed to me that he had no interest in having anybody else teach him again. This is not the first time that representatives of the Church have begun the process of reaching for my husband, only to disappear as he begins to make progress. It may seem like a tragic thing, but miracles do happen and Elder Duke turned out to be a part of this one. 

I, needless to say ,was devastated when this happened. Chaz, as in times before, seemed to shut down to all discussion of the gospel. I was so full of anger and sadness and after a few days it came time for me to go to church and I was hesitant to go that day to say the least. Somehow I got the courage to talk to my sweet husband before I left, and with tears in my eyes I begged him to try and understand that Elder Duke was human and that he did still care about him. I did my best to plead to my husband to not give up on the gospel because of people making mistakes, and to not believe that it was because he was not cared for. I did not know at the time that I was pleading unnecessarily. Though my husband was still upset at not getting a phone call, and for how inconstant his journey for understanding has been with missionaries, home teachers, and every other teacher that has been sent to him, he made a statement that day that restored my hope more than I ever could have imagined. 

Chaz told me that he had not given up on his quest to figure out what he believed, only that he was no longer going to depend on other people to help him find the answers he needed about LDS faith. He willing to accept the friendship of our members and anyone else who wanted to see how he was doing, but he made a promise that day to depend on himself and the Lord to find the answers he has been searching for all these years. That in itself was a turn that I did not expect, but the miracle of what happened did not stop there.

Elder Duke was transferred back into our territory a few months later. Though the lessons did not continue, the Elder was able to apologize to Chaz, and continue to express the friendship and bond that exists between them. It is highly unusual for an Elder to be transferred back to an area in which he has already served, but I saw the hand of the Lord in that transfer. There was so much courage on both their parts in mending that situation, and I was able to witness such an amazing display of courage in both my Husband and Elder Duke.

I know it was not easy to apologize for what happened with my Husband. I know that it was not easy to forgive it either. But both of them were granted the ability to heal and repair the damage that was caused by what happened and both of them rose  from that painful situation with a courage and light that I am honored to have been able to see. 

They were both granted sight and clarity on how to move forward in life and in the gospel from this experience; they were both granted a peace and serenity from the pain they both felt by a loving Father who gave them the chance to reunite and make things right with each other. I literally watched the anger and hurt feelings melt with my husband and a calmness take over. I felt that in my own heart as well. I watched a clarity and levelheadedness that I had never seen with Chaz when he had been upset before. He forgave so quickly; He understood and dimmed his anger; he gained truly unbiased eyes in that moment.

My Husband, though he does not attend Church with me, now asks me every Sunday if I am going or not.He does not judge me wither way, but can feel the encouragement from him to go each week. He loves me either way, but he is giving me the gentle push I need to do the right thing and have courage to do so. He Encourages me to pay my tithing, he listens when I offer to read to him or tell him about the things I am learning.

 I know someday, that even if I do not get sealed to him in this life, that I will be able to sit with him in sacrament meeting and that he will find the answers,truth and comfort that I know in my own heart are found in the scriptures and things that are taught in this faith. I still struggle with the social Anxiety, but I am so touched by the examples of courage and the proof of Heavenly Father loves his children that was shown to me by Chaz and Elder Duke. I love them both very much, and am so grateful to have been able to witness what I have with them. 

It is not easy to pick yourself up and to have the courage to press forward when setbacks bring you to yours knees, but I know that when you muster the courage to continue your journey, and you trust in your Father in heaven to bring you peace and forgiveness that he does respond to your prayers. Courage is not easy at all, but it brings with it blessing that one cannot obtain with any other action. IT brings with it the love of a heavenly father that wants to bless a child who literally fights to be that which he is trying to help up to be. When we press on and commit to doing that which just and true the power to find that calm serenity, love, and brotherhood is truly unprecedented. 

I love you all so much, and am so grateful for Elder Duke in his courage to return and be a part of a miracle that has impacted my life so greatly. We will miss you Elder, but hopefully you will keep in touch. Thank you for your courage. Thank you for making things right with Chaz. Thank you Chaz for helping me regain the hope I was all but losing. Your wisdom, clarity and light lit my way when I was full of anger and sorrow. I am pretty sure I get "schooled" on a daily basis from my husband in matters of wisdom and spiritual clarity, but I am so grateful for him and the humility he reminds me of each day. I am a better person because of the light I have been able to share with him over the past 7 years. He may not go to church, but his mind and heart of gold are something miraculous. I love you so much, dear. Thank you both.

May the story I have shared today remind each of you, my dear readers, that in every situation God is playing a hand in helping you overcome and strengthen your spiritual muscles. THough you may be full of anger now, know that the light of Christ can help you to overcome it and see with eyes of clarity and understanding. It can be hard to understand this when you are caught in it, but believe me, peace can be obtained and the anger vanquished, with faith in Our Father and a willingness to follow the path of light. There is beauty in even the dimmest of moments, and when we come out the other side, we can begin to see that. 

Artfully Yours,

Jetta Marie